No one wants to have a partner cheat on them, and everyone responds differently if it does; some of us try to get revenge, others forgive them, and others choose to just end the relationship.
Revenge seekers have a wide array of ways to do that too, and venting their frustration online seems to have become the most common one.
Dana, 29, discovered that she had her name and location put up on a website called ShesAHomewrecker.com after she ended her affair with a married man over three years ago. Dana apologized profusely for the affair, but it wasn’t enough to sate the rage of the scorned wife, who claims Dana should never have had an affair in the first place if she couldn’t handle the humiliation.
According to Dana, the man told her that he was separated and wanted to leave his wife and start a relationship with her. This appears to be a lie and now Dana is one of hundreds of women on the website facing embarrassment.
The website was created by “Ariella Alexander” and she has no regrets at all about how the website affects the people it exposes. Posts on the website include pictures of the alleged homewrecker, and if there’s any videos there’s nothing stopping anyone then reuploading them to adult sites… (Think https://www.nu-bay.com/ and many others) along with their name and location. There’s more than enough information for the woman to be bombarded with abusive online messages.
There’s even the possibility that just searching for your name will bring up the site, such as in the case of a potential employer doing an innocent little online search. Some people may feel this is extreme, but Ariella is not one of them.
Some have said that the website is a form of “slut shaming” and that it pits women against women, but Ariella responds by saying that if women really loved other women, they wouldn’t sleep with another woman’s husband in the first place. If women actually were to respect and love other women and not sleep with their husband’s, then women wouldn’t have been slut shaming those that find pleasure and liberation in showing their bodies on sites like www.tubev.sex for example.
Dana feels that her punishment doesn’t match her crime, especially because the husband was the one who committed a misdeed. Dana fell pregnant during the affair and was told that her lover would leave his wife to be with her. She soon realized that would never happen, broke off the affair, and apologized to the man’s wife.
While she apologized profusely over the phone and through emails and feels very guilty about what happened. She had the baby and the man and his wife moved away but stayed together. Then she found her picture on the website several months later and has received a constant stream of abuse from strangers.
She says she doesn’t understand why she is the one being subject to the abuse when the married man is the one who broke his vows; that he is the real homewrecker in it all. Dana is studying to complete a nursing course but is worried that the hospital will see the post and that it will damage her chances of being accepted.
The creator of the website admits that she gets lawsuits every day from people looking to sue her or have her thrown in jail. The police have even been called to her house. She handles the cases one at a time.
Alexander says the website receives around 100 new posts each day but not all of them make the website. Posts are denied because of the age of the story or because they don’t match with the purpose of the site.
From a legal standpoint Alexander can’t be sued because she only provides the platform, and doesn’t post the content. Users sign an agreement saying that they are responsible for the content, not her.
According to Alex, the aim of the website is not to provide a way to get revenge, but to deter women from cheating. She hopes women will think twice before engaging a married man. She says that women shouldn’t involve themselves with someone else’s man and that she would never do it herself. She doesn’t understand why anyone else would.
So what are your thoughts? Should a website like this be allowed?
While this is one extreme example of cheating, we understand lots of people have found themselves in a situation where they are treated badly by their partners. We encourage anyone that has been a victim of cheating to talk about it. Don’t isolate yourself from your friends and family when you really need them.
Don’t feel like you’re the one at fault either. If you stayed loyal to your partner then you aren’t to blame so don’t start blaming yourself. Also never give up on finding true love. Everyone has their own morals and standards after all.
Finally, never stoop to their level and seek revenge. Something isn’t acceptable just because someone else did it to you first. You’re better than that!
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